The personal attribute of being sentimental seems to have
acquired an unfavorable assessment in a world which moves quickly and ferociously,
tears down and buries architectural contexts and leaves history behind in a
cloud of cultural dust.
I am sentimental. I
claim it, I embrace it. I value the past because of what it was and that it has
brought us to this current point, personally, technologically, and otherwise. I
enjoy reading history, biography and connecting the dots of who we are and how
we got here, and perhaps where we are going.
Having been born into and raised by a very poor family puts
one at odds with such a personal attribute. Poor folk, having to quickly find
work in another town or city, having to beg car rides from friends or others,
having to leave an apartment before being evicted, cannot afford to carry with them
the luxury of sentimental items such as old school records, photos, and other
such items.
Thus, much of the artifacts of my personal past wound up in trash
dumpsters rather than my continued possession.
So, through the residential moves, the different schools and
friends, I learned to develop a reliable memory. I learned to treasure that
memory. I created journals composed of notes written on the back of grocery
store receipts, library check-out tickets, and just about anything which would
receive ink or pencil lead. I would write the date, weather conditions,
personal interactions and overall comment on the day or event. My first journal
was a plastic Captain Crunch Treasure Chest which I gained by sending cereal
box tops to some post office address which I am sure has changed owneership. I
kept my notes on the backs of receipts in sequential order bound by a rubber
band in the “hidden compartment”. My next journal was a “Dutch Masters” cigar
box discarded by my grandfather and retrieved from the trash before it gained
soil and stain.
At some point my living circumstances became stabilized and I
began using actual notebooks designed as journals. I accumulated so many of
them that from time to time I have had to review and consolidate recorded
entries into a compilation, which I continue to compile.
Looking back on the recorded history of my life, I have
discovered that I hold much appreciation for the negative circumstances and
events in my life. Surely not so much as the positive, more favorable
situations, but negative event also brings much value.
Not only is life precious, but the stories, the events and
circumstances are equally meaningful.
A first date, a first kiss, discovering stereo effect with
headphones, a fiery streak of meteor in the night sky, these things evoke
emotional and intellectual response. They place us at sure geography and point
in time.
Reviewing our memories and our journals allows us to remember
who we have been and more fully discover who we presently are. In my personal
case they have faithfully anticipated who I would become.
People find it a bit excessive that I plan ten years out into
the future with goals, vacations, and such. And true enough, many unpredictable
vents emerge that force modification to my plans. But generally, my plans
succeed. It’s much like writing comments in a journal of the future.
Of course I may be an anomaly of some strange kind. But I
have come to believe that well-kept journals and a diligent review of those
journals provides for us a basis upon which we may in the present create and
project into the future successful and treasonable memories.
Yes, I am sentimental. And I plan to be so at least for the next
well-journaled ten years.
